Still a bit shaky!

I am still a bit shaky, I will be so glad when this medication is out of my system.  It sucks then blows, then sucks and blows some more the things I am going through.  My appointment went well per say.  I’m sorry I haven’t been in to blog just been very hard to sit still, I am very antsy, and there are moments that come and go I feel like I am still gonna blow.  I haven’t had any topiramate since Sunday.  I have a handful of the brand Topamax but I am waiting a few more days before I take it, to get the other out of my system first.   Of course that means a migraine a day now but I deal with it.  When you add that to the other symptoms oh yeah its fun!

The doctor was upset because so many of his patients are going through some tough side effects from the generic.  It’s insane.  Yesterday I spent on the phone fighting with Medco and being tossed back and forth between them and our insurance because I am getting a “run” around.  I finally got someone to LISTEN to me and wrote my letter of appeal, picked up the letter from my doctor and faxed it yesterday before dinner.

To help with the feeling anxious side effects and to calm my nerves, they have me taking Xanax, since its not a “new” medication to help get me back on track.  He didn’t want to add a sleeping medication to the mix with all I am dealing with, as he wants to avoid any bad interactions between medications right now.  I still have moments in the day where I feel I am going to explode.  Not fun.  It’s scary as hell.  Not going to candy coat it because my theme here is sweet, you know Lollipop and all.  Very scary.  I never in my life ever felt this way.

Of course if I get impatient hubby just says oh that’s because of your health situation.  It is just I can’t deal with a lot of stuff right now, no patience.  I have to give my daughter and son credit, they been pretty good, if only they can be like this all the time!

So now comes the waiting game, waiting to see if I will win the appeal and not be forced to pay for the medication out of pocket basically.  How they can be so snotty on the phone with me, saying that is how it is and that is that, err don’t think so.  You can’t force me to take a medication that does what its doing to me.  It made my muscles weak, I am still sore but not as bad as each day goes,  insomnia, and the fast weigh loss, loss of appetite, the migraines and irritable doesn’t even explain the moods man.  Time bomb is more like it.

So I am just taking it a day at a time and avoiding at my best any thing stressful.    TRYING anyway!  I think I do better if I was totally alone in the house though!