Sad news and things don’t change

June 27, 2007

Well my mom called me with sad news. The guy she lives with just had surgery last year, had half of his left lung removed due to a tumor. They said he was cancer free but recommended having one or a few chemo treatments and he elected not too. So she calls to let me know that its back and in his right lung and into the veins of his heart so there is nothing they can do. With radiation treatments they gave him three to six months to live. My heart goes out to him very much so. It’s sad news. So she tells me how they are seeing a lawyer this weekend to get his will drawn up so she will get the house, so I assume he had some kind of insurance to pay it off. I feel bad for her don’t get me wrong I do, but I don’t. Her reason for cheating and leaving my dad was she couldn’t handle taking care of him anymore, and sounds to me she put herself in a much worse situation. My dad has no sympathy what so ever and I guess you can’t blame him for that, but I don’t wish bad things for the guy she is with and told him he shouldn’t be angry with him. So I told her I wished we were closer and I got oh you have your life don’t worry about me I have my friends here, and goes on to list so in so this and so in so that. Oh ok. Well that should not shock me right, its always been friends before family, I mean why should something like this change things.

So see I feel bad, she will end up living alone and its really gonna kick her in the ass, but then again she has her friends down there so perhaps not. She doesn’t come to see us, only calls when things are not good, I call her weekly and barely manage 10 to 20 minutes with her.

I don’t know this guy hardly at all. The times we got to visit it wasn’t like a bonding thing ya know what I mean? And its been three years since my mom even seen us and before that I had to not tell her I was coming and showed up where she worked. She didn’t want to see us at Christmas, this was our third year last year.

So there will be no funeral or service. Hubby could not get off time at work anyhow as he isn’t considered immediate family. But then she says just come see him once before he dies and really why again should I do this? I am not heartless don’t get me wrong but I don’t know him, I know mom is living with him, they haven’t come to visit us so why should I go there now? I wasn’t welcomed to come visit her even at the holidays for crying out loud, when I had surgery she didn’t come to see me. So no I won’t be going down nor putting my family through that either. His own kids have to deal with guilt as they don’t visit or see him either and his son is like 5 minutes away, so honestly its his own kids that should come visit him. Not me.

So I am sad to hear the news but at the same time some things never change. She will never change and I just don’t have it in me anymore to deal with feeling that in her eyes her friends are more valuable and I am just a worthless piece of shit she gave birth too.

Posted by Editor | Filed Under Lifesavers

Comments

3 Responses to “Sad news and things don’t change”

Bobbie on June 27th, 2007 12:10 pm

I’ve already talked to you about this… so you know my feelings, but I wanted to let you know I am sending hugs your way. You don’t need to feel bad… she didn’t when she told you not to visit, or when she LEFT your dad and all those pieces for YOU to fix! Hang in there doll!!
Amy on June 27th, 2007 5:35 pm

I so agree! Even though its sad that he is ill, do not go down there to visit! If she can’t be bothered with you any other time of the year, she does not need to call you when things are bad for her. How selfish! You deserve to be treated much better lil missy!!!!!!!!!!!!! Absolutely not, I wouldn’t go either! That isnt heartless, its called self respect and good for you!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Amy on June 27th, 2007 5:36 pm

Omng, I so had to tell you also, and couldnt find a tagger to leave a message at….I sooo love your chocopets (up by your welcome box) How cute is that?! You always find the cutest web things!!!