May never be the same again

Things around here may never be the same again.  Yesterday I blew my gasket, which was long time coming!  My dad just picked the wrong time to bad mouth and say some comments to my daughter, who then told me.  The topper that did it?  Him telling her I am just “short fused” and needless to say he found out just why I am “short fused”.  I reached my earthly, human limit one can take.  That was the final straw.  I told him I have never felt so unappreciated in all my life between my daughter and him and words were exchanged as he threw in the all he does to help!  All HE does to help, exactly what does he do?  He takes Miss Daisy to work and picks HER up, if he had a problem with her, then that was between them, but if he had a beef with me he was to come with me and if he didn’t like, then get out!  He was shocked I said it, but it needed to be said.  I am done being the door mat!  I told him I am tired of him coming home barking demands, do this do that, and complaining how boring it is here, and etc.  Then leave.  I did however remind him WHO has been the one taking care of him, providing the roof over his head, preparing his meals, getting his medications for him, doing his bedding, the extra cleaning I do, and all the other extra goodies in between. Do I get a thank you?  How he treats my son, how he just snaps at us all the time.  He denied or would say those were all jokes!  Ha! Jokes my fanny!  Things calmed down but it may never be the same again.  Just today he was trying to make me feel guilty by saying I didn’t realize the things I said to him.  Yes I do, I remember well.  I had every right.  I stood up for myself and to him and put it back on him and he just doesn’t like the reality check, plain and simple.  So I honestly don’t know how things will go now, because my nerves are shot and there is nothing left.  I thought I was going to have a heart attack yesterday and today I am numb.  I need time for me, time to get my bearings of sorts back.  My family has to respect that and allow me to heal, or I am not going to be any good to any of them!  If he moves then that is what is best and I can tell you I am not begging him to stay.  Nope.  I didn’t do anything wrong, so time will tell.

The sun is peeking over some clouds today, oh how I miss the sun.  I sat out on the porch for a while just letting the warmth hit me.  I gotta tell you the lighting in this house sucks and blows.  I told hubby I like to replace the light over here where he took the ceiling fan out and put in just a light fixture.  It just isn’t enough light for the size of the area lighting up between here and the front door.  Makes things too dark.  I been looking at the Murray Feiss lighting styles and they sure are pretty.  Heck I settle for a new house with new lighting too.  If we are not moving then hubby needs to do something about the lighting.  OH and wiring too  I think.  Every once in a while the lights go dim but this happens mostly during winter and only in evenings.  Weird huh?

My daughter keeps sending me a text or calls because she is bored, waiting on a ride from one of her friends since her training is done for today.  Funny when she is home she doesn’t talk to me very much and heck even sends me a text from her room, I kid you not, but I told her sorry I can’t chat I have things to do.  She just acts as if everything is a okay with the world and its not!