Is anyone hearing me at home?

This weekend literally has just been truly beyond stressful.  I have finally reached my limit in regards to my daughter and the crap she does and brings into this house.  Mom is not bending anymore and has shut down and is at the zero tolerance level now.  I will no longer walk around MY house on egg shells anymore with the area of nerves being the way they are anymore!  Not with all I have on my plate with caring for my dad.  No more games!   I am done.  My poor head hurts so bad, this migraine is a killer today as I try to still get through my day as normal as possible, its like someone is standing next door at my neighbors house and banging on his stainless steel drums he has by his garage.  I am drained and so exhausted.  If I wanted to be in the middle of a soap opera, let me tell you I would of audition for All My Children or One Live to Live okay!  Enough is enough.  She needs to get out! MOVE OUT!  She expected a party on her last day at work this past week and was disappointed she didn’t get it and that isn’t even half of the drama folks.  A sweet friend of mine suggested maybe I open a private and password protected blog so I can just have a place to let it all out and you know I just may do that!  99.9% of her issues she brings on herself and I don’t feel sorry for her.   I have literally had my fill and this week I am praying for some downtime from the drama side of things.  She will ask me mom are you okay, you don’t look so good, well are you even listening to me here at home?  Anyone here at home listening?  It’s sad that a friend in email can see things, how I am falling apart and not my family who live with me.  Its sad folks who come to my blog and read it, see things and not my family.  I am suppose to be this super woman who can do it all.  It doesn’t work that way.

I told hubby yesterday or maybe it was this morning, my mind is blurry sometimes as exactly when in time, that I wasn’t going to be outside much this summer and he said to me no matter where we lived I didn’t like it.  I corrected him on that one very quickly.  I was fine renting the condo, he missed having a yard.  The house on Hart Street with the black mold, hey we could not stay there for health reasons, not to mention the landlord sold the place in the middle of us renting it, and the lady above us and her noisy kids (was a two story house they made into two living areas).  It was his choice to buy this house, he didn’t want to rent anymore.  This isn’t where we were suppose to be at this point in our lives.  Promises were made years ago, so seriously, lets not go there!

I find myself more and more withdrawing, pulling away and I am fighting it.  I really am.  I need some serious spiritual guidance right now. I have so many things and feelings running through me right now its unimaginable!