Feeling sick to my stomach, think I reached my limit

I am feeling pretty sick to my stomach tonight, I gotta tell you, I think nerves wise, I have reached my limit.  Dad went to his appointment this morning came home, said they did x-rays of his body (whole) because he never had done it before and the doctor just wanted pictures of his bones and they did the usual blood work.  I thought it was kind of odd the way he worded it, and I said well they did do a scan of his neck area because that is how we found the rheumatoid arthritis in the first place five years ago, so I know she has that on file, not to mention all those CT scans he has.  But I let it go.  I went about my day, he left and then about 4:45pm I got a voice mail.  Darn cell didn’t even ring for me to pick up!  It was the nurse from the doctors office and they got the results of his bone density test and he needs to begin treatment.  (Imagine my shock and stun-ness as I am listening to this voice mail.)  She said to call her on Monday so we can discuss treatment options for osteoarthritis.  So of course my nerves are a little more off, and my dad comes home I tell him about the message, he tells me how he won’t get the cortisone shots too painful, and up and decides to go back to the mall.  My daughter was at the mall with her friend tonight.

Well its the business expo this weekend and my dad was telling the sales manager from where my daughter works about how he has another type of arthritis and told him, ready for this.. that he is going to REFUSE treatment if it means he can’t have Humira anymore.  Now imagine my feeling sick to my stomach now.  Sometime tells me this was discussed at his appointment and he just was keeping from me.  I can’t shake the feeling.  I won’t know 100% for sure until Monday but let me tell you I will so BLOW if that is the case.

What he doesn’t realize is that isn’t his decision to make.  It’s the doctors, if this medication is making the other type of arthritis worse, then he can’t have it.  I never mentioned to him he may not get to take Humira anymore.  Never said that at all!  So why would he just come up with that all on his own?  All I said to him was what the nurse left on my cell, to call her to discuss treatment options.  If she (doctor) no longer prescribes that medication, then that is that.  How can he just say that?  We can’t up the Predisone because of the lung nodules he has, so at this point it is crazy to sit and drive ourselves crazy trying to figure it out until I talk to the nurse on Monday.  I wasn’t going to dwell on it you know, to drive myself crazy.

This royally sucks, then blows.  So he is keeping things from me?  I mean he said this morning it was just a nothing thing and then sat this evening telling hubby how he explained about his shoulder and neck hurting and more details.  I just don’t understand.  I never felt so twisted and pulled in so many directions in all my life.  I think I reached my limit.