Emotionally Exhausted and extremely tired!
May 30, 2008
Today I am extremely exhausted emotionally and so very very tired! My eyes are still bothering me from all the crying I did today. I was fairly OK at the funeral services, but once we arrived to the cemetery and I seen the funeral area with the VFW men in their uniforms standing at parade rest with their riffles, I totally lost it! I started to hyperventilate in the car and told my hubby I can’t do it. He would not let me stay in the car. I was standing with my sister in law and my kids and hubby was one of the Pallbearers, there was six of them. When I seen them carrying the casket with the flag over it I just about collapsed to the ground and my sister in law caught me and kept her arm around me until my hubby had walked over to stand with us. They said a few words, some prayers and then the guys did their salute which really was moving! Being a Veteran myself it just really touched me very hard. It was a very rough afternoon. I have a migraine from all the crying I did today! I really gave my mother in law many many hugs today!
I have to tell you how shocked I am at the behavior from my father in law’s side of the family. I mean they are really pushing my mother in law it was horrible to see such behavior. I mean not one of them shed ONE tear yesterday or today! Not ONE! They even argued over the flowers. It was settled that my mother in law only had a say on flowers sent from “OUR” side of the family. To see this and to hear what they have been doing so far really added to my sadness today and yesterday, as I sit teary eyed typing this. Very sad indeed!
I will have to tell you about the pervert in another post, that’s more of a rant and don’t want it mixed in this post.
So I am going to head to bed I think and try and get some rest, but today is just etched in my memory. You see the military salutes and the playing of taps in movies, but folks its really an experience in real life, one you truly just don’t forget.
Emotional Day Part One
May 29, 2008
Today was a very emotional day for me. It was nice to see hubby’s mom and seen she was doing very well before heading to the funeral home for calling hours in the afternoon. When we walked in you could see my father in law in his casket I just caught in the corner of my eye and I walked another direction. The way the room was set up there was only one chair in corner that I could sit in and now see him. I couldn’t do it. I was just shaking so. Hubby had lead me to the chair to sit down as he thought I was going to faint. He reassured me I would be ok there.
I observed folks come and go and when I seen hubby sister and a few other family members teary eyed, I cried. A few asked if I went over to see my father in law and I just burst into tears and said I just can’t. Some folks just sort of stared at me like there was something wrong with me but there isn’t. We stayed for the entire calling hours, walked back to hubbys mom then stayed just a few minutes to head come. It was 8 before we got back home as we stopped for a bite to eat at Pizza Hut. Tomorrow will be the services and at the cemetery, he served in WWII so there will be a ceremony.
We are leaving very early, so I am off to check email and head to bed.
Little nervous
May 28, 2008
Well I am getting ready to head to bed and I am still a wee bit nervous about the calling hours tomorrow and the funeral on Friday. This is really a first for me and just been very nervous about it. I have not slept well at night, I toss and turn. I can’t explain how I feel, just is how I feel. I do not want to view my father in law in his casket either, as it will be open. I have shed many tears over this as I explained to my husband I don’t want to be forced! I just can’t do it. It is not about being disrespectful to his family but I just can’t do it. They have to understand that. The kids are not going to the calling hours, my son has a few classes online he needs to take for reviewing for his final tests and exams, and he is struggling in math. They will be going to the funeral on Friday though. WE will be leaving very early in the morning.
I still an uncertain as to what I will be wearing tomorrow. I think just some dress pants and a shirt. I bought a dress for the funeral, as I don’t own any dresses. But I think I already blogged about that one.
I will blog sometime tomorrow evening after we are home before I go to bed to keep you updated and let you know how it went tomorrow.
I am just LIVID!!!
May 28, 2008
I am so upset and mad right now, I mean I think I am possibly beyond LIVID right now!! My hubby told his employer whom he has been with for 25 years about his step father dying and taking Thursday and Friday off for the services and funeral. NOW when he told them yesterday it was a simple OK, sorry for your loss and he worked all day and nothing else was said.
This morning I woke up to an email she (human resources) is now asking for “proof”, an obituary, or something from the funeral home. Now he followed the procedures asked in the “employee handbook” and that was not stipulated and the fact that hubby was scheduled for his vacation next week surely makes it look they don’t believe him! Nice!
So I told him to just come home and tell them to kiss your ass! Yes that’s right my exact words. My brother in law works there, and right now my sister in law is down with their mom helping her getting things arranged, and finalized and to support her and the last thing they need to worry about is this! I was not going to call them asking for that information and upsetting them. I found what is needed online and I told hubby to get me the fax number so I can fax this information and that it will also have to be for his brother in law as his wife is busy planning a REAL funeral right now!
My daughter is a senior in high school and after today there is only four days of school left and even they did not ask me for “PROOF”. It was no problem everything would be handled and sorry for your loss!
So until I calm down its best I don’t type up a cover sheet and fax this just yet. Hubby’s response to my telling them to kiss is ass was he had a voluntary resignation form in front of him so I replied to him in the largest text I could to SIGN IT!! But now that I thought about it, I don’t think its an official form, rather his middle finger followed with well you know!
Got a lil time…
May 27, 2008
Well I got most of the arrangements made now. Calling hours are Thursday and the Funeral is on Friday, so many calls to make, got things straight with the school for my daughter and my son’s advisor is out of the office today, so will try again tomorrow. One downfall to schooling online is I can only talk to his advisor!
After going through my closet as I still need to figure out what to wear to calling hours. I decided I am going to put a bunch of things I have on eBay or in my garage sale. For starters my Longaberger Booking Baskets are going up on eBay. I have so many of the smaller baskets so I decided to keep my bigger baskets. My oldest basket is from the year I graduated, but I am putting that one up as well. Also selling most of the stuff animals from build a bear except a slim few and the outfits. Since I am not going to have the girls after August, just some things I won’t need and I don’t really have the space to keep them going. Hubby is hogging the wall space in our bedroom with his lighters so going to sell my home interior mirror with lil country doors and a shelf. Computer games out the ying yang from when the kids were younger and music CD’s!! Those are just things from the top of my head!! But I am going to start taking pictures of my baskets and check the value price of what they are worth and put them up at a good deal and move em out!
Excuse my dust with upgrading!!
May 27, 2008
Please excuse my dust as I upgraded to 2.5 this morning and am finding a few errors within my theme and I am working to get that fixed. Sometimes I think I pick the wrong time to do things!! Thats what I get for being up since 4:00 this morning!!!
I see many changes too behind the scenes too!! HMMMMM what did I do!
My FIL passed away this morning
May 26, 2008
This morning we woke up to sad news. My hubby’s step father passed away at 2:00 this morning. He was 92 years old and lived a long and wonderful life with sad moments as well as he has already buried his sons. He was a very strong Christian and is in a better place and no longer suffering. I will always remember his joking around he was always making everyone around him laugh! He was so good to my MIL!! He had cancer in his stomach, liver and kidneys and just went downhill very fast. I talked to my MIL this morning and she is doing very well, as my sister in law is down there with her.
I will not be online very much this week due to traveling back and forth in between calling hours and the funeral. I will post as I can but I do not want any of my online gals worrying about me and you all know who you are!!
Since we do not have “dress” clothes, I been spending my day running around getting hubby two dressy outfits, just some Docker slacks and shirts, shirt and pants for my son and a dress for my daughter and I!
Please keep us in thoughts and prayers as we travel back and forth. As soon as I know which days are calling hours and the funeral I have to call my daughters school so they can excuse her those two days.
Thinking of having a garage sale!
May 25, 2008
I am thinking of having a garage sale in the next few weeks. For starters since our future in moving has been in almost 98% of all of mine and hubby’s discussions, I am going to sit down and go through all the things I have to see what I can and can not part with. But I already have things boxed up for a garage sale. Since our old steam cleaner was ruined, we had to throw it away and I have been watching for sales on steam cleaners so I can purchase a new one. I really miss my old one. So that is what I am planning on doing with the money from our garage sale. I keep forgetting to talk to a few neighbors to see if they want to have like a mini neighborhood sale and maybe get more folks having it at the same time, split the cost for ad’s and get more people to browse and shop!
-
Flavor of the Moment
-
Sweets I love to have!
www.kaboodle.com -
Sweets I love OMG!!
www.kaboodle.com -
Recent Licks
Licorice Bits
