Thought of the moment….
July 30, 2007
The roots of all goodness lie in the soil of appreciation of goodness..
-Dalai Lama
Protected: Pimping for what???
July 30, 2007
Hands are tied, what do I do?
July 29, 2007
I am beyond frustrated right about now. I honestly just do not know what to do anymore. My dad spends so much in gas money that a week before his check comes he is out of money, and I end up giving him money to get by on. Hubby really thinks I should not give him any money. But he isn’t the one home all day and has to put up the bullshit, I am! Hubby and I left around 4:40 to grab a quick bite and to get groceries and put gas in our car. The trip down for his reunion finished off what was in there. I had fuel perks built up from Giant Eagle so we save $1.20 per gallon, so we only had to pay 1.49 per gallon and we filled up the five gallon can. Then we came home. While we were gone I guess dad came home and all my daughters butt about what was for dinner and seemed pissed off I was not home! There was things for him here that he could of eaten. There is always things here, and he only had three dollars and opted for a sandwich at Arbys after waiting around for me to come home. I guess I should of been here to prepare his meal for him? I think he is capable of putting in pizza rolls, or fixing a burger or heating up his butter beans he likes for his dinner. So I was upset and when he got home I sat down and talked to him but he just lies to me about his gas so I got the calculator out. He gets 965 a month, with his bills, insurance and car payment that’s 525 a month shot. So that leaves me 440 a month left. That gives him $110.00 a week for gas and what ever he does. Truck pulls, tractor pulls, fairs, if he decides to eat out. And somehow the week before his check comes he is broke. Where is it going? I already can tell you that, GAS!! He has put over 15,000 miles on the meter for the car and has only made THREE car payments, so in four months. That’s 3,750 miles monthly! That’s a lot of miles and there is why he has no money left. So I tried to point that out to him so I said now you check doesn’t come till Friday what are you going to do? I gave him twenty dollars Friday night so he could grab a meal out yesterday since we had the reunion and I was not going to be home to prepare a meal for him. He put 10 of that in his tank, and I don’t mean his stomach! So his answer to me when I asked what he was gonna do? He said and I quote: “Well I guess I won’t move all week and just sit!” with a nasty tone, WTF??? What the hell am I suppose to do? Its not my fault. I even give him money 5.00 to wash the car or if he runs me to the store during the day I give him 10 for food. Or if he runs an errand I give him money. So what else am I suppose to do? We are already paying his portion due each month for the hospital bed. If he just sits in this house all day, do you have any idea the hell I go through doing that? How mean and rude he is to me??? It’s unbearable anymore. With the kids here that I watch? Its just too hard to deal with him and them at the same time cause then he is really cranky. He swears around them all the time as it is, if he was here all day, I don’t think I have a job very long. So I dunno what else to do. I suggested he join the senior center and baaaahhh, or just paying for a bus pass and just go for rides to get out and about just he won’t be driving is the only difference and was baaaahhhh. Then precedes to tell me it will be tight again next month for him cause of the Lake and Portage County Fairs. He feels he needs to go every night its open. So is that a hint??? Hubby frustrated at me. Well what do I do? He is my father? He’s my responsibility, and I deal the best way I know how. What else do I do? Get a night time job??? I don’t have it in me to sit all week and listen to him moan, bitch and complain cause he can’t drive his flipping car.
Look how young they are!!
July 29, 2007
After losing 90% of all our pictures from the black mold from the house we rented, I came across some rolls of film in my dresser I forgot I had. So I took a chance to see if would develop and what they were. And what a wonderful surprise to find they are pictures from our first family vacation together as a blended family one year after our wedding. I remember the smells of the chocolate being made from the nearby factory. Look at how young my cuties were? And its hard to imagine my stepson is 19, my daughter is going to be 18 in January and my son is 15. My daughter is a senior this year and just were does the time go??? But I will treasure these pictures forever.
A Virtual Titanic Visit!
July 29, 2007
From the time I was a child, I have always been fascinated with the Titanic! Such a tragedy to happen, out of what I feel is the greed of man, of the soul’s that were lost. In time to come, the Titanic remains will literally disappear by Nature. I will never forget going to the Great Lakes Science Center and seeing the Artifacts, I was in awe and felt so humble. This is a video I think is of interest.
OMG….. Tooting my horn here!!!
July 28, 2007
OMG I am totally so excited tonight. I just got back from hubby’s reunion and I am bushed. I turned on the computer to check my email and blog and the template designer Brian paid me a visit and I followed his link left in his comment (you have to go click on the comments from previous post to find it he he he).
Wow I am so excited and happy, may seem silly to some but this really made my night and I am just so excited and honored!! Thanks again Brian for allowing me to use your template. I totally love my blog style!!!
Why be so deceitful???
July 27, 2007
You know in today’s technology its really does fascinate me how people can be soooo deceitful online and never think others will find out. I had a friend I had for years online, so I assumed was a friend, at least I can say I am who I said I was. Find fault with that, oh well, its who I am and who I will always be. Perhaps a person doesn’t find out right away, but over time, things tend to shed light on a situation. I have a different view and perception of things, NOW that I did when I first come online. I guess I would expect the same out of others, honesty, respect and integrity. I was loyal to them and even know secrets to this day and being the type of person I am I would never EVER tell anyone. For one, when I think about it, what is the point really? They are the ones who have to live with themselves. There are those who enjoy what they do. So the point to my blog…..
My son doesn’t understand why he can not have a myspace blog. He is 15 years old. Just last fall he use to play games in Yahoo’s Kids. This person posed as just another teen at first. Then over time he started emailing my son with links to adult type stuff. He had said he was going on vacation and asked my son to keep tabs on his email and gave him his user and password. And that was a whole new can of worms. I don’t feel it was by chance that I walked by to check on him when I did. I handled it. But he doesn’t understand still today, and now we are arguing over the fact. So I said as long as you use your real age and not put up any information about your self like date of birth and where you live, etc… he had a problem with this. This would limit his ability to have friends cause he would be listed as a teen. He wanted me to lie and put an adult age in. NO I won’t do that either.
His running into bad people would be worse than anything I have been through online. I knew before things went totally bad it was coming and already had pulled away big time. I may be naive, but I aint’ stupid! They are foolish to ever think no one will ever find out true things. But it does come around and it does happen. What do you have in the end? Well I still am alive and kicking, gained a little knowledge from the lil life lesson I was taught. I have my guard up at all times now which is a shame in essence because there are those who don’t understand why I seem to keep away when they want to become closer friends, like I don’t trust them. It’s not that I don’t trust them per say, just after what I have already been though, I don’t want to go through that again. You tend to put on armour to protect yourself and I am not going to say I am sorry for being this way because I am not. My son’s situation could of been much worse had I not paid attention to him online. I won’t walk blindly in this area. However if he truly wants a blog, I am thinking of buying another domain and setting him up with a blog. Its a compromise and I am willing to spend the money for that and hosting. This would open a new experience in learning some new things with online stuff. He can have it looking the way he wants and link to his favorite things and have a journal and express himself. Its the best I can do at this point!
IMPORTANT NOTICE
July 25, 2007
Due to unforseen circumstance beyond “human” control, I lost a lot of my previous data. My current host does not provided back up of sites. This however is not a problem for me, except for the fact that my full site back up files were corrput and non recoverable. This has lead to a very big mess! I had to delete the date base and start over. I did manage to find an export of my wordpress from July 7th, 2007 that however was not corrupt. This is where I am as of today. So as you can see I have lost a few weeks worth of posts.
Out of frustration of this mess I decided to close the blog, rebuilding and starting from zero just wasn’t an option for me at this point and time. However since I have not lost my entire journal I will not totally throw in the towel. I am grateful for this since I have a few paid posts that were still pending from June I didn’t loose them. Once they have been cycled out and are at a point that they can be removed, then I will decide what I will do. I have many ideas running though my head at the present time and will decide if this is something that I will move forward with or not.
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